Stories of Hope: An Interview with Kimberly Ferguson
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked author and advocate Kimberly Ferguson about her mental health journey and her current activities. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
KF: The year was 1993. I was eighteen years old and I had a six month old daughter. Her father was physically abusive to me so that triggered my nervous breakdown. I could not make good decisions as a mom so my parents intervened and I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for one month to get stabilized.
My diagnosis was bipolar and I was placed on medication and had to follow up with the mental health clinic. As a result, I was not able to raise my daughter. Her paternal grandma had custody of her for years and my parents assisted. My mom lost her mom in 1994 and could not help full-time anymore.
I did not have housing for five years due to being denied Social Security, so I lived in two group homes for the mentally ill until 1998. Then my behavior was acting out sexually and dating the wrong men, so it was 2005 before I regained custody of my daughter. She was twelve years old. Hurricane Katrina hit two weeks later and we relocated to Huntsville, Alabama with my parents and that is when my life drastically improved.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
KF: Having a baby who needed me to eventually recover because her dad was not being the dad she needed, and her grandma was not someone who was supposed to raise her. So she was my motivation to stay on medicine and do what was needed. Even though it took twelve years, I knew that I would recover and was determined and my daughter was who I thought about and how it would affect her mentally.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of and what have you found that has worked well for you?
KF: I have stopped dating and have been celibate and that worked for me. Also exercising daily, having a dog for ten years, writing, going to college, sharing my story, church, and reading have all been beneficial mentally, spiritually and physically. Seeing a therapist twice a month, taking medicine, and seeing a psychiatrist have been essential. Talking about my struggles has been key too, addressing it and not suppressing it.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing ? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
KF: Currently I am struggling financially since being unemployed since February and I have been out of college for almost a year. In the spring semester I am planning on being enrolled. I stay positive because my son is watching and he sees his mama trying so he will do better in life by my example.
DS: You’ve been active in advocacy and have written a book about your struggles. Tell us about those activities.
KF: It began in college in 2009 I began writing papers on my life story and God told me to write the book. In Speech class, I gave a speech on bipolar disorder then two years later I had my son. In May 2012, I wrote three books, but my book “Surviving Life’s Storms Victoriously” was published for free by my church family. They were authors and ministers who heard my testimony at church and were led to do it for free.
My goal was to reveal and heal and spread awareness because my community does not seek help. Growing up, the tradition was to suppress it and not address it. The black church wanted to pray it away, but I knew that was not the way to be okay. I used social media to address it and black psychiatrists and psychologists were thanking me. I even emailed a poem to a doctor and he emailed me back that he would share it.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
I want to say take it one day at a time, baby steps. Find a positive outlet: write, dance, sing, play an instrument, exercise, join a support group. Go to church, volunteer, get a pet, take a class, do not isolate, reach out for help. The suicide prevention lifeline is available twenty four hours a day. Call a friend, cook, go to counseling, even churches have counseling. Make an appointment with a therapist. It is a process. Nothing happens overnight. Give yourself time to heal. Be kind to yourself.
It took me until 2002 to meet a great therapist who is why I am the person I am today. She encouraged and nourished me. We met when I had just lost my newborn son. I was at a point where I wanted to go to a long term psychiatric hospital, but God told me you must recover because your daughter needs her mom!
I immediately came to my senses and did the work. I got a job part-time and lost seventy pounds by walking in ten months. I got a bigger apartment in 2005 and regained custody of my daughter. I wrote letters to my daughter and those restored our relationship.
My therapist was my spiritual mother who believed in me and it changed my life, just God placing her when I needed her most. I know God will connect you with people to uplift you and care about you. These people will prepare you and they will strengthen you in dark times. They will be a light and you will be alright. I really improved since I met her.
I look back to the person I was in my twenties. She is dead and a new person emerged in my thirties and I kept growing and evolving, but people had to adjust to the new me. I had to reprogram my thinking; the old information was outdated and had to be deleted. My family’s dysfunction, shame, denial and guilt could not be repeated. I refused to be defeated.
I applied new information and my mind was transformed. I reflected and learned and the same problems never returned. My attitude and outlook improved, my mission became clear and I had to persevere. I was writing my legacy and my children could see the new me.
My daughter grew up with a sick mom who didn’t know who she was. She listened to what family said, but my family did not have the knowledge or belief system, so they could not deposit in me what they didn’t have and that understanding released me from blaming them.
Moving forward, the choices were mine. I was taking a stand to extend a hand to those who need hope and feel like they can’t cope. They can look at me, a person people never expected to make a change. It is still is strange to many but my passion is to impact people. God kept me living when I took a HIV test in 2006 but it was Herpes, and this is why I allow God to use my story because he saved me and gave me another son to complete a mission and it has come to fruition.
I owe it to God because getting another chance to change my circumstance and lives around the world is amazing and a blessing. I hope you know you have everything you need on the inside to recover. You simply have to be willing to discover who you are and know you are important and you can help others with your struggle. Know the struggle is real but let Jesus take the wheel and heal!
About Kimberly
My name is Kimberly Ferguson. I am an example of defying the odds. I was diagnosed bipolar in 1993 at age eighteen and I had an infant. My doctor at the mental health clinic said my prognosis was not good. Well, I didn’t believe him. I enrolled in cosmetology school and medical assistant school and school through the mail for child development a year later. I didn’t finish due to Hurricane Katrina, so we relocated to Huntsville, Alabama and I got my GED and enrolled in college and cosmetology school. I had a son and graduated from cosmetology school when he was a month old. I started writing books and I discovered the gift of poetry; writing is therapeutic. I am going to major in psychology. I have been able to overcome daily struggles by seeing a therapist and taking one medication and walking every day with my dog while keeping my faith in God and helping others. I teach Sunday school class and I am making a impact on social media and it feels good. People gave up on me, including doctors. But God didn’t. He used my pain to help others gain. I have been through hell and I chose to tell. I reveal so I can heal. Growing up in the black church, mental health was something that was hidden and forbidden. A church laid hands on me in 1996 to try to pray it away. I knew God would use it for good and he could help me recover but I had to discover courage to not do what my community did. I chose to address it and not suppress it. I want to add to the important conversation in the nation. Please check out my books on Amazon. You can also connect with me on X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and LinkedIn.
Thanks so much to Kimberly for her inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!