Determined to Be the Best Person I Can Be

Stories of Hope: An Interview with Michelle Lande Clark

This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked mental health advocate Michelle Lande Clark about her journey and her recent activities. Here’s our interview:

DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. 

MLC: I started getting severely depressed at the age of 13. I could not function to do things as simple as vacuuming the stairs. I was not able to stop crying and could not concentrate, so my parents allowed me to miss school. I did see a psychiatrist, but it did not help because I was not depressed about anything in particular. 

DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?  

MLC: At the age of 17, I had my first full-blown manic episode. My parents received a call from my friend who said I was acting really strange and I had not slept in days. I was hospitalized for about three months and  diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

DS: How did these issues affect you and those around you? 

MLC: My whole family was impacted. My sisters were young and did not understand why I was being given so much attention. The stigma of mental illness back then was really bad so my condition was hidden. When my mom did start sharing, she lost many friends and relatives distanced themselves from our family. One of my sisters to this day is too embarrassed to tell anyone that she has a sister with a mental illness. Over the years, my parents have been very supportive. Several times, they had to drop everything to come help me during a manic episode.

At first, because of my own insecurities and embarrassment, I did not tell anyone. It was over 35 years ago when I was diagnosed and the stigma contributed to me keeping it a secret. As the years progressed, I did tell close friends. I did tell an employer once and it did not have a very good outcome so I did not share that I had a mental illness in my professional life after that. 

DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?

MLC: I have been on every mood stabilizer medication, and although they have helped a lot, they have not always given me stability. I also have been on most of the antipsychotic medications. I can not take antidepressants because they cause me to become manic. 

Therapy has never really been successful. This is mainly because when depressed, there is nothing to talk about. It is a chemical imbalance and most of the time there is nothing that causes it. Over the years, I have tried natural treatments too and they have been somewhat successful.  

DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?

MLC: After my diagnosis, I was able to graduate from high school and college. I held down several different jobs including working as a manager, a trainer at Disney World, and even was Teacher of the Year. People with bipolar disorder can be very successful. Many famous people have bipolar disorder.

Eventually, after 16 hospitalizations in a year, I had to go on disability. However, I worked for my dad for a few years and also began advocating for people with mental illnesses. In 2011, I started blogging to help educate, inspire and encourage others. I also started a Facebook group for advocates. 

There are many days that life is a struggle, but I have learned things always get better. I am determined to be the best person I can be and show that I am a strong person. I think the most important thing that has helped me is that I have a great support system. My psychiatrist is wonderful. My family and  friends have helped me a lot.

Staying positive when you are depressed is difficult. However, I have learned that I need to force myself to set goals for myself every day. Exercising and eating healthy are essential and I am usually pretty good at going for walks and fixing nutritious meals. 

DS: You’ve been very involved in mental health advocacy. Please tell us a little about your advocacy efforts. 

MLC: I first started advocating for others when I was hospitalized at the age of 17. I fought for people who were being mistreated or were unable to express what they needed. I was even approached by a lawyer to help him make the system better. 

Locally, I was on several mental health boards and ran a free event that aimed to educate people about mental health and to help erase the stigma. I started blogging as Bipolar Bandit where I write about all mental illnesses, share many tips on how to advocate and examples of the times I have advocated. I also aim to help others by offering hope and tips.

I also founded a group on Facebook called Advocates for People with Mental Illnesses and I have a website and social media sites for Mental Health Advocates United. Over the years, I have gotten to know a lot of very influential mental health advocates. I am constantly writing to politicians and the media. I had several governors proclaim Mental Illness Awareness Week in their states and have received a personalized letter from President Clinton among others thanking me for my efforts. 

DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery? 

MLC: Don’t give up! Things will get better. Don’t get discouraged when you have a setback. You have gotten through it before and will again. Educate yourself about your illness. Know what the symptoms are and  how to treat them. Make an action plan. Know what you can do in a crisis and what your loved ones can do to help. Talk to others with the same illness. There are many support groups out there online and through places like NAMI and Mental Health America, among others. Share your story to help others. Blogging has really helped me do that.

About Michelle:

Michelle Lande Clark is a former teacher, mental health advocate and blogger who uses her 35 years of experience with bipolar disorder to educate, encourage and inspire other people struggling with mental illness. She has been writing under the pseudonym Bipolar Bandit for over 10 years and can be found on most social media platforms and several lists of top mental health bloggers. Her goal has always been to join mental health advocates together in hopes to have a louder voice and change the mental health system. She founded a group on Facebook called Advocates for People with Mental Illnesses and has a website called Mental Health Advocates United (MHAU) that has the story of over 350 mental health advocates. MHAU is also on some social media platforms. She writes for The Mighty and is a patient leader for WEGO Health. She has also been involved in mental health boards locally, written several editorials for her local paper, is a peer support specialist, has been a guest on podcasts, and been quoted in places like Parade. You can also connect with Michelle on Linked In or Facebook.

Thanks so much to Michelle for sharing her inspiring story of hope!

Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!