Stories of Hope: An Interview with Sam Swidzinski
“I want this article to be useful to people. I want this article to help at least one person to get one step closer to becoming well.” – Sam Swidzinski
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked author, researcher and advocate Sam Swidzinski about his journey. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
SS: My answer to this question deeply saddens me and, for that reason, I often hide from it. But that is precisely why it is important to talk about.
I knew I was struggling psychologically far before I sought treatment. When I was 14 years old, my mood dropped significantly.
I lacked confidence… I felt no motivation… I had no fight in me…
This was unusual for me as I had always been a very passionate person. I knew my mum realised something wasn’t quite right, but I tried my best to put on a brave face.
I often question: Would my mental health have deteriorated as much as it did if I had reached out to someone at 14? It’s a painful question to ponder as many, many excruciating years may have been made a lot easier by that seemingly simple decision.
This is part of why I and many others fight to spread mental health awareness. We want to help everyone understand these difficulties and help them to know that it’s okay to talk about them.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
SS: Following the depressive episode that I just described, I had a number of hypomanic episodes. Hypomanic episodes are where you have high energy – such high energy that you struggle to sleep, you struggle to eat, your mind races. And no matter what you do, you can’t seem to switch it off.
A mixture of elatedness and irritability invaded my life. My angry outbursts upset those I love. After a while, it got to a stage that was unmanageable.
I would go through periods when I would be angry all the time. I would feel like crying because I couldn’t sleep. I would believe things that weren’t real. I had too much energy.
And then I would go through periods where I felt no confidence. I felt I couldn’t leave the house. I was suicidal.
This was when I sought help. I deeply regret not seeking it earlier.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found has worked well for you?
A lot of things worked. But first I had to go through a lot of things that didn’t work.
It took me a long time to understand why things weren’t going right for me.
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) worked when I understood what CBT was all about. CBT is a very practical based therapy which involves developing a self-awareness about your thoughts, behaviours, bodily symptoms and feelings and how these constructs are all interconnected.
Then you decide which thoughts or behaviours you want to adapt or change. The therapist’s job is then to guide you to realise practical ways of making the desired change.
When I first approached CBT, I didn’t know these simple facts about this form of therapy. For this reason, it didn’t work for me. The more I learnt about different forms of therapy, the more useful therapy became. Essentially, I had to become my own psychologist.
There was a similar process with medication. Once I was educated on how different medications worked, I became better equipped to work alongside my psychiatrists in deciding which medications to try. It’s always trial and error with bipolar disorder and sometimes it takes a while to get on the right medications. But once the right medications for each person are found, outcomes tend to be very positive.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
SS: Life is incredible. I do what I love every day. I go out there and try to help people with mental illness and fight to spread awareness on how to get better. I’m a psychological researcher; I’m early in my career, but passionate to make a difference. This is the main reason why I’m happy now; but the journey I went on to become well is far too complex to go into within this single article. My book gives a comprehensive answer to this question.
DS: Tell us about your book.
SS: Winning the War with Bipolar is a guide on how to learn to manage bipolar. Bipolar is one of the most difficult things anyone can go through in life and it took me a long time to crack. But fortunately, through great mentors and having a loving family around me supporting me, I gained the resources needed to get better.
The book outlines the 4 steps I used to manage my bipolar disorder:
- I needed to educate myself about the disorder
- I needed to learn how to make therapy work.
- I needed to become my own psychologist
- I needed to stay consistent and not let by guard down
I feel blessed that the book has received praise from many seniors in the mental health field, including Wendy Burn, ex-president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists. Most importantly, I’m glad it has made a positive impact on the lives of many with bipolar disorder. It warms my heart when someone with the disorder reaches out to thank me for the work and describes how it positively impacted them.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey to recovery?
‘There is light at the end of the tunnel’ is an incredibly frustrating thing to hear when in the pits of a deep and painful mental illness. Instead, I will leave you by saying:
‘There is a sense of belonging found in helping others.’
The work I do helps me as much as it does everyone I try and positively impact. I finally feel like I belong somewhere. When I meet people diagnosed with different mental illnesses and when I try and help them, I feel connected. I feel like someone gets it. It helps me.
About Sam
Samuel Swidzinski is a mental health advocate, academic and author of the self-help book, ‘Winning the War With Bipolar’. In 2013, following years of turmoil and grief, Samuel received a diagnosis of bipolar 1. He felt fortunate to meet some inspiring psychiatric researchers from King’s College, who helped him to manage his disorder and live a meaningful life. Samuel has now received funding for a PhD at Kings College. He is studying the impacts of Cognitive Remediation Therapy on bipolar disorder. Samuel has also worked within the mental health field with clients with a range of mental health disabilities, ranging from autism and schizophrenia to personality disorders. The combined value of Samuel’s personal, occupational and academic experience in bipolar has inspired him to write a book about it.You can connect with Sam via Instagram, X (formerly Twitter), LinkedIn,YouTube or his podcast.
Thanks so much to Sam for sharing his inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!