It Is Okay to Not Be Okay

Stories of Hope: An Interview with Dollan Cummings

This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked college student Dollan Cummings about his journey. Here’s our interview:

DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?  

DC: I struggled with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), depression and anxiety as a teenager. These conditions could have possibly been present when I was child, but I was not in treatment, and I didn’t recognize these conditions as a child. I knew I was different, but did not really know how. 

From a teenager, until now as a 23-year-old, I continue to struggle with my mental illnesses, and these conditions have taken a toll on me. I have social anxiety as well, and have fear of being around a large gathering of people; going to the store is a real challenge for me. 

I have issues with focusing and concentrating, due to my anxiety, and as a child I was diagnosed with ADHD (attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder). So this could possibly be a reason as well, for my constant issues with sitting still for a long period of time and at times being impulsive. 

I also suffer from severe PTSD from a childhood trauma, and this brings fear because I relive the incident over and over in my head, sometimes on a daily basis. 

My mental health does affect my family, which consists of my mom and grandmother. I know they do not have all the answers, and they truly want to help me, but they do not know how.  

DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help? 

DC: The turning point was when I just could not handle the emotions that came with my mental health conditions, and I have to say, I truly have not had “real treatment.” I also started self-harming, which also prompted the need to seek treatment, if you call what I have had “treatment.”  

DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you? 

DC: I really do not know what treatment looks like. The counselors I had in the past, I felt were untrustworthy. Mainly, my past treatment consisted of the counselor sitting there looking at me, and we were both in silence, which lead to a lot of odd moments. 

I had one so-called mental health therapist who continued to complete assessments on me, with no treatment, then discharged me??? So really I can say that nothing has really worked for me.

Now I see a therapist every 3 weeks, who I really like. I wish I could see her weekly, but due to accessibility issues with receiving mental health treatment where I live, I have to deal with this. I am not able to see a psychiatrist until next year, which is ridiculous, and I have to deal with my conditions until then. This makes me feel as though I still am not really getting treatment. 

DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy? 

DC: Things for me now are still hard. I have good days and bad ones, more bad. I still have days where I am suffering from PTSD symptoms, along with the anxiety. It is hard for me to be active at times. I used to be very outgoing and not afraid of anything. But now, I find it safer to stay at home, although I really want to live my life, like any other 23-year-old man. 

What is helping me is my faith in God; I pray and read my Bible. I would say that suffering with my mental health issues has brought me closer to God.

DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?

DC: I would say, stay strong, take it day by day, and that it is okay to not be okay, and remember you are human. Mental health is a sickness, just like diabetes, cancer etc, so it is important to take care of yourself, take your meds appropriately, eat right, try to exercise, and rely on your faith. My favorite saying is “this too shall pass.”

About Dollan

I am 23 years old and I live in Illinois. I am currently in school studying Business Entrepreneurship at The University of Phoenix. I have struggled with mental health issues ever since I was a child, on through my teenage years, and currently now as a young adult. I have my own page on Facebook called Melody Fam, which connects people to music who, like myself, love music and struggle with mental health problems. I look forward to both sharing my stories involving my own mental health issues as well as to hopefully be an inspiration to others. Thank you for this opportunity.

Thanks so much to Dollan for sharing his inspiring story of hope!

Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!