Stories of Hope: An Interview with Gabe Howard
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked mental health activist and author Gabe Howard about his journey and his current activities. I’m very excited to feature Gabe. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
GH: Here’s the thing–I was NEVER concerned. I thought about suicide every day as far back as I can remember. I suffered horrible depression. Sometimes I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t think that was mental illness, though. I thought mental illness was what I saw on television. Drooling. Violence. Rocking back and forth.
In my mind I was just a bad person. I was a problem. I just needed to cheer up, get better organized or some other piece of advice a friend or relative gave me. It never occurred to me at all that I was sick.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
GH: I found my way to the emergency room because someone noticed I was delusional, depressed, and suicidal. That person saw what everyone else in my life missed–that I was really sick.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
GH: I spent 3 days inpatient and went through 12 weeks of intensive outpatient treatment. I have a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and I take seven medications. I’ve used peer support, group therapy, and online resources — all of those things made me well.
From the time I was diagnosed to the time I reached recovery (I define recovery as spending more time living my life than I do managing bipolar disorder) took four years. I’d make progress and then fail. Medications would have side effects I couldn’t tolerate. I’d do well and then I’d go back to work and struggle again. It was very, very rough.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
GH: Staying positive might be a reach. I mean, I am a pessimist by nature. I don’t think that has anything to do with living with bipolar, but who can really be sure where it ends and I begin (and vice versa). But, to your point, I just want to have a good life. I want to live well. I want to be well. I want to love my wife.
The thing that keeps me moving forward is my fear of moving backwards. I face the challenge of symptoms coming back, cost of medical care, the time it takes to seek treatment (I have to work!) and the stigma I face. I’m always considered “less than” others.
DS: You’ve been incredibly active in mental health advocacy and social media. Tell us about your involvement in those activities and your recent and current projects.
GH: It turns out my love of talking has really paid off as I host two podcasts:
Not Crazy
Not Crazy is the mental health podcast for people who hate mental health podcasts. The show is designed to explore all facets of our mental health–without all the psycho-babble. My co-host Jackie and I know first-hand that people don’t generally wonder about the “state of their mental health,” but might very well worry about whether or not they are crazy. New episodes every Monday on your favorite podcast player or by visiting psychcentral.com/notcrazy.
The Psych Central Show
The Psych Central Podcast is an award-winning, weekly podcast that approaches psychology and mental health in a casual and accessible fashion. I speak candidly with experts to break down complex topics in simple and understandable ways. New episodes every Thursday on your favorite podcast player or by visiting psychcentral.com/show.
I’m also the author of Mental Illness is an Asshole
In my book, all the articles date from 2014 through 2018 and include my observations on reaching recovery, stigma, and living well in spite of depression, bipolar, and anxiety. I even share the story of my :): logo for the first time.
For years, I’ve been trying to educate people about living with mental illness. My observations cover everything from practical advice to family relationships to the fears that people with mental illness experience.
In essays such as “Anxiety Says Everyone Hates Me,” “I Have Bipolar and I’m a Hypocrite,” and, yes, “Mental Illness Is an Asshole,” I make mental illness less scary and more understandable.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
GH: It’s a slow process and it’s not a straight line. Reaching recovery is like a yo-yo on an up escalator. You are moving up and down but you are always trending up. It’s hard work and people will expect it to go faster–it won’t. It’s a wicked illness and it takes time and effort to properly manage. But I believe it can be done. And I believe you can do it, too.
About Gabe
Gabe Howard is an award-winning writer, mental health activist, and sought-after speaker and educator. In 2003, he was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders. Feeling that it was vital that he give back, Gabe began volunteering for a national mental health charity, and honed his skills as a writer, activist, and speaker. As an activist, he works in the trenches to confront the fear, discrimination, and stigmatization faced by people with mental illness. Gabe is the recipient of the 2014 Mental Health America Norman Guitry Award, placed second in Health Central’s LiveBold competition, was a 2015 WEGO Health Awards Finalist in the Health Activist Category, received a Best of the Web – Blog award, and was a 2014 Mental Health Hero. He hosts two podcasts and wrote the book “Mental Illness is an Asshole,” in which he discusses how he lives well despite his mental illnesses. Gabe makes his home in the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio, where he lives with his supportive and patient wife, Kendall. You can connect with Gabe via Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and his website.
Thanks so much to Gabe for sharing his inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!