Stories of Hope: An Interview with Craig Lewis
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked peer specialist Craig Lewis about his journey and his current activities. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
CL: When I was 7 years old, I was already aware that my parents were different in their behavior than the parents of friends of mine. I don’t think my parents were prepared for an exceptionally smart, creative and perceptive son.
In my parents’ desperation to find a reason that explains their dysfunction, I, their trusting and defenseless child, who only wanted to be loved, became their unwilling identified target. This fear and desperation resulted in my parents seeking psychiatric care for me. They were told by the many different providers they brought me to be treated by was that in fact that they needed help themselves and that my behavior was a reaction to their dysfunction.
Ultimately my parents had me put into a psychiatric hospital at age 14. The admitting psychiatrist documented in a written report that I have in my possession, that I had no psychosis, no thought disorder and that I was a regular young teenage kid. Nevertheless, my parents had a great deal of money and were able to pay the $900 a day or so for the many months I lived in that hospital, after their insurance ran out.
This was the beginning of causing a lifetime of unnecessary problems and introducing me to abuses that otherwise I would never had imagined were things that people would knowingly do to other people. I thank God everyday that I am strong enough to no longer allow people in my life who had anything to do with the abuses of my childhood.
Gratefully, my parents made this easier for me by giving me an ultimatum in 2017 that either I stop talking about what happened to me as a child or that I would no longer be welcome in the family. As hard as it has been for me, my parents and family did me a favor by no longer having any communication with me.
I am deeply proud of my results in choosing my life and happiness in future over submitting myself to abuse in the name of what is in most families a different manifestation of what we call love.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
CL: In the mid-2000s I hit rock bottom publicly and I decided I will try one last time to make my life better or I would kill myself.
In July of 2019, I met with a shamanic psychotherapist and she helped me get to the bottom of something that was getting in my way and I made an adjustment and I am now doing remarkably better with pretty much everything.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
CL: The treatment that I received the near entirety of my life up until recently, included a cocktail of three to four antipsychotic medications. When I obtained my adolescent medical documentation from the Department of Mental Health, it was stated numerous times, as written by numerous people who did not know each other that I was being inappropriately treated with psychiatric medication. I was being placed in inappropriate placements and I didn’t have these symptoms that I was being treated for.
Additionally, in my adolescent medical documents there is a report written by a clinician that includes documentation of legal threats made by my parents toward the psychiatrist who was treating me in a residential treatment center. They demanded that he change my medical records from his original assessment. That was the same assessment as the other psychiatrists who met with me prior to him, that I did not have mental illness and that my parents were ill. Unfortunately, he was afraid and he changed the medical records.
The medication prescribed made me grow breasts, made me constipated and made me sexually unable to function. I was rendered useless as an adolescent male and my natural psychological functioning was inhibited.
What is working for me is having stopped taking all medication 4 years ago, upon the direction, guidance and assistance of a team of psychiatrists at Boston Medical Center. Spirituality is a lifesaver and cannabinoids as medicine (as prescribed by a licensed doctor) have given me an opportunity to have a quality of life and a future that is promising.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
CL: Things are going great for me. I faced a lot of angry people who didn’t like the healthy Craig. I have found an unexpected resistance from my fellow psychiatric survivors. I think it may be hard for people to embrace that my story is so absolutely screwed up and that I’ve healed so beautifully, in spite of it all.
I also found an unexpected resistance from people who are believers in the medical model. It appears that my story is intolerable or unacceptable for them, somehow despite what happened to me being severe child abuse and not my fault. There exists a chronic lack of respect for my human dignity. All I can do is forgive everyone, for they do not know the harm they do.
In the past 2 years I survived 15 months of homelessness and healing from a brain injury without medicine or treatment or good food or basic needs met. Most of my current challenges are rooted in a lack of acceptance and perhaps jealousy and the competitiveness of others.
I am an exceptional advocate for the most marginalized among us because I relate with marginalization personally and deeply. I was working very successfully for quite a long time and I had authored a book that has garnered great acclaim. I’ve traveled around the world giving workshops and presentations for mental health workers and peer specialists and anyone who has interest. I have done this including during the time period that I was homeless.
I predominantly work in Europe. I would love to work in the United States for people and organizations who will have me. As I have had such a hard time getting hired in my home country, for many reasons that you can read clearly above and in-between the lines.
I have had my life experience blessed by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts through becoming certified as a peer specialist. I have been having a very hard time getting a job anywhere in the United States, which is odd. Part of how I stay healthy is by traveling to foreign countries and teaching about recovery, the value of peer support and imparting upon them my wisdom that is infused into my work and within me.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
CL: My dear friends around the world: you have all the answers within you. Your reaction to the world around you is legitimate. Whatever happened to you impacted you. Please look at me as an example of somebody who has survived the impossible.
The details of our lives are different and that’s great. We are all made of blood, bones, organs, cells, heart and a brain. We have much more in common than what makes us different. Remember who you were before you got hurt.
If you are somebody who learned how to be in this world, you were taught by others. At some point, accept that it’s your responsibility to figure out how to improve yourself. You are the expert on you.
Others may be able to help you and guide you. Get the best information possible. Ask questions and ask more questions. Make informed decisions about how to help yourself.
You have value as a human being no matter what anyone says or does. You have value as a human being no matter what your medical file says. You have value as a human being no matter what anyone says about you. When the you-know-what hit the fan, I was covered in it. Take that lesson as a beautiful education and create the life you deserve for yourself. I believe in you. Make sure you believe in yourself.
About Craig
Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, kindness, spirituality, accountability, honor, forgiveness and acceptance. He is currently living on a mountain in Mexico, seeking truth, healing and connection. Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible. Craig recently published his book ‘Better Days’ in several different languages. Craig actively trains mental health workers, educators, people in recovery and all interested people throughout the world and is excited about benefiting your organizations and the lives of all through his experience, wisdom and fearlessness. You can connect with Craig via his website, blog and by email.
Thanks so much to Craig for his inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!