Stories of Hope: An Interview with Ari Snaevarsson
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked author and coach Ari Snaevarsson about his journey and his current activities. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought help?
AS: It’s hard to pinpoint where my binge-eating problems started. Technically, they started the second I stepped off stage from my first ever bodybuilding show, at 17 years old. But in reality, the deep-seated issues from which my binge-eating emerged were brewing all through the 18 weeks of contest prep that led up to that.
This affected me in more ways than some might believe. When you hear the term “binge-eating,” you likely imagine eating more than you were hungry for at a restaurant dessert or maybe polishing off a bag of chips in front of your favorite show. Surely, before I was ever forced into this monster of a disorder, I would have thought the same.
But binge-eating is something so much scarier and so profoundly unnerving. For me, it included food hoarding, lying, ritualistic eating, and other behaviors I still distinctly remember. The binge-eating sessions themselves involved huge amounts of food. I would essentially “black out” and stuff my face until I was in physical pain from fullness, and then I would immediately try to find something that would numb the feelings, which often meant trying to sleep.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
AS: It wasn’t until over four years after my first binge that I decided I needed to change things. To be sure, my binge-eating did not carry on like this the entire four years. It died down a bit months after my first show, though the behaviors still persisted with less frequency afterwards, but after my second show, it was back in full force. These four years were colored by restrict-binge cycles that led to some of the worst depression and self-hatred I’ve ever experienced. I was so sick of my value as a human being dependent on my eating behaviors.
A couple months after my second show, I took a leap of faith and decided that this time another diet was not the answer. So I researched Binge-Eating Disorder and what treatment for this looked like. More specifically, I looked into the concept of intuitive eating and decided to give this a try.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
AS: What is so interesting about my journey to recovery is that I never thought I had an eating disorder in the first place, despite the intensity of my binge-eating and the other factors that would solidify such a diagnosis had I ever seeked professional help. For this reason, my recovery was not entirely conventional. Instead of going through tons of eating disorder-specific therapy and taking medication, I flung myself into the intuitive eating world and decided I didn’t ever want to go back to the diet rules and body hatred I’d been living in throughout my entire time in college.
My self-directed “treatment” consisted of regular exposure to binge foods in a normalized environment, an unconditional allowance to eat whatever I was hungry for in whatever amounts I wanted, a switched emphasis in my weight training so that I focused more on strength than aesthetics, and radical focus on self-care habits. This meant meditation, self-compassion, a regular sleep schedule, journaling, and more.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
AS: I still suffer from pretty severe depression, which I was diagnosed with about 10 years ago. Certainly, my depression and anxiety helped amplify my eating disorder symptoms during the worst of it all. But what matters is that I now have an arsenal of tools to manage and mitigate these symptoms. I am fully recovered from my eating disorder, all because of work that I put in on my own terms, and there’s no feeling greater than that.
I still have some really low lows, and in the winter, things can get pretty bad. But by holding tight to the healthy habits I know I need to regularly engage in for my mental health, I’m able to ensure this never gets the best of me. I prioritize eating when I’m hungry, I don’t ever diet or count calories or weigh myself, and I recognize when my depression is catching up to me and things need to be done. Now, unlike before, I make sure to reach out to those close to me and ask for help. I stay busy and let myself do the little things that make me happy.
DS: You’ve been active in mental health advocacy and/or social media. Tell us about your involvement in those activities.
AS: My involvement in the mental health world was not something I’d planned for at all in the beginning. I went to college to study Health Sciences and my goal was just to do nutrition consulting on some level after graduating. But through my experience with my eating disorder and achieving full recovery (what I call “Food Freedom”), my track changed.
I did my Senior Capstone internship at a residential treatment center for patients with eating disorders, the same center where I’ve now been working for over a year. I was also unexpectedly offered a job as a nutrition coach at a powerlifting gym in my area back in August 2017, so I’ve been working there ever since as well.
I decided after graduating college that my focus would be helping those with eating disorders and disordered eating escape food prison and body hatred and achieve this same place of Food Freedom I’ve achieved for myself. In October 2018, I published my first book, called 100 Days of Food Freedom: A Day-by-Day Journey to Self-Discovery, Freedom from Dieting, and Recovery from Your Eating Disorder.
Since then, I’ve received tons of messages from people who’ve used the book to guide their own recoveries who have told me how this has been the key to finally recovering. Realizing the potential to help others by sharing my story and my message, I have committed to growing 100 Days of Food Freedom.
I now regularly post blog articles on the site, am active on social media – where I regularly help others who reach out to me, collaborate with others in the intuitive eating world, and of course I help my disordered eating clients work towards full recovery. It has been an admittedly emotionally tiring but equally rewarding journey that is only just beginning. Nothing excites me more than the prospect of helping others break free from the chains of dieting and body hatred.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
AS: Imagine a flower seed sitting deep in the dirt talking to some other flowers that are starting to sprout. The seed says, “Things are so dark and depressing down here. Nothing is ever going to get better.” The other flowers assure this seed that, with regular watering and sunlight and some patience, everything will soon be bright and beautiful. The seed says, “No, you don’t know how dark it is down here. I seriously don’t think it’ll ever get better.” Of course, things will get better, and with just a bit of sunlight and water, this seed will grow to see the light of day. But in that place, it doesn’t feel like it at all.
I know how dark and depressing the lows can be. I know the existential dread of those terrifying thought trains that inevitably lead to the depressing reality that “none of this matters anyway.” But having trusted the process and allowed the sunlight and watering to help me grow and see how bright things can be, I want to tell everyone how possible recovery is. If nothing else, remember this: Your life is your story, so make it amazing.
About Ari
Ari Snaevarsson is a nutrition coach who works primarily with clients who suffer from disordered eating patterns. He also works as a counselor, dietetic technician, and on-call facilities manager at a residential eating disorder treatment center. In both capacities, he helps clients develop positive relationships with food and their bodies. His book, 100 Days of Food Freedom: A Day-by-Day Journey to Self-Discovery, Freedom from Dieting, and Recovery From Your Eating Disorder, outlines a simple, day-by-day process to recovery from one’s eating disorder.
You can connect with Ari via Instagram, Facebook or his website.
Thanks so much to Ari for his inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!