Stories of Hope: An Interview with Bridget Croteau
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked author and advocate Bridget Croteau about her mental health journey and her current activities. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
BC: I think soon after the birth of my daughter, I knew I was not exactly “okay.” But, because of our experience, I blamed it on a million other things, and didn’t quite put it together that I was far from okay, and in fact suffering from a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder (PMAD).
A bit of backstory, after an healthy and uneventful pregnancy, we had an unexpected induction, a week long neonatal ICU visit and lots of trouble breastfeeding. I figured most moms or dads would feel sad/stressed/be crying like I was if they were going through this too.
However, the frequent, almost daily crying, blaming myself and guilt went on for months following her release from the hospital. I felt like a huge failure and felt very much to blame for her birth, NICU stay and inability to exclusively breastfeed.
We knew that I was at risk for postpartum depression (I have a history of anxiety and depression and was laid off from my teaching job due to budget cuts) and we knew some symptoms, but no one close to me really put the pieces together to realize what was truly going on.
My mental health was hard on my family. My husband tried to help as best he could and my parents did too. But when there’s a problem and no one knows really how deep/hard the problem is, it makes it difficult to really help or say the “right” things.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
BC: My turning point happened one weekend when my daughter was approximately four months old. My husband was away, and I was home alone with my baby. I cried for much of the weekend. I realized I was angry that my husband was away having fun and that “his life” hadn’t changed, but mine was “turned upside down.”
I knew what postpartum depression was, and even knew that I was at a higher risk because of previous depression and anxiety in my life and the loss of my teaching career (I was excessed due to budget cuts). But, I think that I was really in complete denial until this particular weekend.
The lightbulb finally “turned on” in my head and I realized that I wasn’t myself anymore. I, of course, turned to “Dr. Google” and looked up the symptoms of postpartum depression (PPD). I read through symptoms and mentally said “check” to many of them.
When my husband arrived back at home, I told him that I think I had PPD and he simply said, “Its ok. We will get you help.”
The following day I called a support group and my OB/GYN office and made an appointment for later that week.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
BC: My treatment consisted of therapy with a licensed clinical social worker and attending a weekly support group. This worked very well for me – I especially loved the support group. Having moms in my group who completely understood what I was going through was invaluable to me.
A feature of this support group was a night called “Family Night” where our families and friends were invited to attend as well. We had guest speakers that night, a mom who went through a PMAD and a family member. That meeting was incredibly helpful to my family and to myself as well. My parents and husband were able to ask questions and learn more about PMADs. My family was incredibly grateful for this opportunity.
This meeting was one of the first times that I really believed I would get better one day. Here, I made a promise to myself that when (not if) I was better, I would give back to this cause.
My family and I also read books about other women’s stories of their struggle and triumph over PMADs. These stories gave me some hope that one day I would maybe feel like my old self again. They gave me comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
BC: I am doing really well now. I am by nature an “anxious” and “perfectionistic” person, so I still deal with those challenges, but to a much lesser extent. Through all my therapy and support group sessions over the years, I have learned to manage it well.
Over the years I have learned to take care of myself and to not be afraid to ask for help. I have an amazing husband and family that I can rely on for help and a babysitter for my girls that they absolutely love. I have also learned that I do not have control over most things in my life…surrendering to this fact was incredibly difficult for me, but has been very freeing.
To help manage my anxiety, stress and to stay healthy, I exercise most days – generally five to six days a week. I do some deep breathing when I feel anxiety build and often call my mom and dad when I need to vent.
I started ballroom dancing after my oldest daughter turned one. Ballroom lessons were something I had wanted to try for quite some time. I finally made myself a priority and took lessons. My husband gave me his full blessing; in fact, he had told me for years prior to me having postpartum depression to find a hobby because it wasn’t healthy to just work. Dance lessons are amazing for me. They allow me to have fun, feel free and express different parts of my personality.
DS: You’ve been active in mental health advocacy. Tell us about your involvement in those activities.
BC: I am very involved in advocating for maternal mental health. I have been volunteering for the Postpartum Resource Center for almost four years. Once I started feeling like “myself” after having postpartum anxiety with my youngest daughter, I fulfilled the promise I made to myself years prior to “give back” to this amazing organization.
I have been competing in the Mrs. New York America pageant since 2015. I have the local title of “Mrs. Suffolk County America” and I will be competing for the prestigious title of “Mrs. New York America” in March 2019. This amazing pageant has allowed me to use my title to help share my story and message with so many people.
My platform, “You Are Not Alone” has become such a huge part of my life. I speak at various events (including a webinar, documentary screenings and to medical professionals) and trainings, participate in fundraising events and I have even written and published my own book, “Me, Again: How Postpartum Depression and Anxiety Transformed My Life” about my struggles with postpartum depression and anxiety and how I became “myself” again.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
BC: My main message to others going through a PMAD is the same message the Postpartum Resource Center of New York shares – you are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.
I also want to share; Take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are important. You are enough. You are loved. You are amazing.
About Bridget
Bridget Croteau lives in New York with her husband, Beau, their two children, Natalie and Chloe, and their labradoodle, Jake. After her experience with postpartum depression and anxiety, she has been an active volunteer with the Postpartum Resource Center of New York. She is currently serving as Mrs. Suffolk County America 2018-2019 to help bring awareness to perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). You can connect with her via Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, her website, or the website for her book.
Thanks so much to Bridget for her inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter) or Instagram, “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!