Tomorrow is Always a New Day

DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you and those around you before you sought treatment?

EM: I remember always being anxious as a child, but my mental illness really manifested when I turned 20 and had just moved to Edinburgh. I struggled with eating disorders throughout my late teens and when I hit 20, things started to consume me. I thought I could run away from my problems by living in another country but that was a big mistake. Being totally isolated from friends and family, not knowing what was going on with me and my mood and living in a strange place all compounded and my major depression really kicked in.

The sudden and severe changes in my behaviour were really extreme and because I didn’t have a diagnosis at that point, I honestly thought I was just going crazy. I remember calling my Mum one night, crying and telling her I had to come home, and I was on a flight the next day back to Australia. It was when I arrived back in Australia that I sought help for my eating disorder.

I then went through two different psychiatrists who diagnosed me with depression. They were really clinical and rigid and just not the right fit for me, so it wasn’t until I was 30 that I found the right psychiatrist who diagnosed me with major depression, social and generalised anxiety and attention deficit disorder. My family and friends went through hell because I was masking my emotional pain with unhealthy behaviours like drinking to excess, so for a good ten years I tried to cover up what was happening in my mind with alcohol, which was really difficult for everyone.

DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help? 

EM: In 2010 I hit rock bottom – and when I say rock bottom, I mean rock bottom. I was arrested for drunk driving and lost my license for 3.5 years. It was then that I knew I had to get my life on track and face my mental illness head on, so I found an amazing psychiatrist who I still see to this day. Having been through two beforehand who would just up my dose of Prozac and send me on my way made me really disillusioned about seeking help, but finding the right professional changed my life.

Not only that, but getting the right diagnosis was also a turning point. I had no idea that I had ADD and the way it manifests in adult women is different to how it is with children. It was then that I realised why I flunked out of university at 18 when I was halfway through my degree, why I didn’t ever seem to be able to stay on task or focus, but also why I was always hyper anxious all of the time.

I went back to university and got my Bachelor of Science degree in Registered Nursing and stopped using alcohol as a way of escaping my demons. I am not going to lie – I still struggle. I was hospitalised in December of last year for a few days because my weight plummeted to 47kg and my headspace was at an all time low. But with the support of my close friends, family and my doctor I was able to pull myself out of that black hole.

DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?

EM: I see my psychiatrist regularly which I will continue to do for as long as I need to. I take medication daily and know that if I miss a dose then it throws everything off course. It took a long time to get the right antidepressants that worked for me, but once I found what did work it made a huge difference.

I don’t take medication for my attention deficit disorder anymore and have found that things like meditation and mindfulness help me with that. I also find writing very cathartic and consider that as a form of therapy too. I also taught myself how to make jewellery when I went back to university, so I find that as a form of therapy as well because my mind just goes blank when I am making pieces.

DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?

EM: Right now I feel like I am in a really good place mentally. I still have my ups and downs and bad days where I can’t get out of bed, but I am able to talk myself through it a little easier now. I also know that reaching out to trusted friends and family and talking about how I am feeling is a massive thing for me.

I have a very small but amazing circle of trusted friends who are also mental health advocates, who are always there for me whenever I need to talk and who also text me if I go offline on social media for a while (which I tend to do when I am in a bad place). I still battle daily with anxiety but I have learnt some techniques to tell myself so I can actually go down to the shop without thinking everyone is judging me!

The main thing for me about staying positive and healthy is to pay attention and notice the thoughts you are having, realising that you need outside help and contacting people who completely get me and are amazing at helping me through hard times, and knowing that things will get better – even when they seem like they can’t.

DS: You’ve been very active in mental health advocacy through social media. Tell us about the current and future focus for these activities.  

EM: I am passionate about raising awareness for mental health because I live with it and can empathise with those who are struggling. I am the International Director of Advocacy for a great global non profit based in New York called We Are All A Little Crazy. It is all about destigmatising the way we look at mental health and how we talk about it, sharing stories from other people around the world who have their own mental health conditions through the consistent #samehere movement, and creating an alliance of celebrities and expert practitioners who can inspire those with mental health struggles to reach out and know that there is hope and they can get through it.

With the celebrities involved, we create programs where they are face to face with vulnerable audiences to change the culture. We continue to look out for advocates around the globe so that eventually we can really make massive changes about the way people view mental health. I also have stories published on The Mighty about mental illness in another way to reach out to people so they know that they aren’t alone.

DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery? 

EM: To anyone out there who is working through their journey with mental illness I want them to know that there is a light at the end of what seems like a very dark tunnel. Reach out to someone – whether it be a friend, a family member, a helpline or a mental health advocate on social media. You don’t have to do this alone and there is support out there for you.

While there will be times throughout your journey to recovery that you will stumble and fall and feel like it is all too much, don’t give up. Don’t take yesterday’s problems and make them a problem today. And try and do all they can to keep fighting – because it is the biggest fight that many people will face.

Take each day as it comes and don’t beat yourself up if you have a bad day because they are still going to happen. Fight the good fight and remember that tomorrow is always a new day.

About Erin

I am a Registered Nurse living in Australia with a passion for all things mental health, as well as being a mental health advocate. After living with mental illness for almost 20 years, I want to inspire people to know that things can get better and that they aren’t alone. I have also just finished a certificate in Abnormal Psychology so I can work as a mental health nurse, and will continue to advocate for change in my role as International Director of Advocacy for ‘We Are All A Little Crazy’. If I can help one person by doing what I am doing, then my job is done. You can reach me via our website, X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, LinkedIn or Facebook. 

Thanks so much to Erin for her inspiring story of hope!

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