Stories of Hope: An Interview with Hannah Blum
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked mental health advocate and media specialist Hannah Blum about her history of mental health challenges and her current activities. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you and those around you before you sought treatment?
HB: I became concerned about my mental health when I was around 16 years old and heading into my junior year of high school. As I got into my late teens, I began to notice my emotional extremes and mood swings were becoming more intense and frequent. I felt very withdrawn and disconnected from myself. I would skip school and took a dive academically so much so that I almost didn’t graduate from high school.
On the outside, I looked like I had it all, but I was slowly withering away on the inside. I ignored my mental health for the most part. When I sought out counseling, I was shoved off. One counselor diagnosed me with “Spoiled Brat Syndrome.”
I thought going to college away from home would be the answer to my problem, but it wasn’t. College was great, and I made some of my best friends there, but I continued to ignore my mental health.
It was a fantastic period of my life, but it was also when the symptoms of bipolar disorder were worsening. It began to consume me, affecting my school work and my life in general. I self-harmed, my weight was up and down, and I grew even more distant from myself and those around me. My body and mind were completely falling apart.
It is difficult to say how it affected the people close to me before my diagnosis of bipolar disorder because I was very good at hiding everything from those around me. I should have won an Oscar for that performance. People had no idea of how bad things were getting with my mental health.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
HB: Unfortunately, I ignored my mental health struggle to the extent that the first time I would receive help would be when I was involuntarily placed in a mental hospital. It was spring semester of my sophomore year in college when things began to spiral out of control, and my friends reached out to my parents. It got to the point that I could not function.
The days before withdrawing from school and coming back home are a blur. When I got home, my mother and I went to the local emergency room, one that someone would go to if they were physically ill. We went with the intent of receiving information about mental health therapy. One moment I was lying in a hospital bed, and the next I was in handcuffs being taken to a mental hospital.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
HB: My treatment consists of medication, routine visits with my doctor, therapy and various coping skills. I am very open about the fact that if it were not for medicine, I would not be here today. I was in and out of doctors‘ offices for years before finding a routine of medication that allowed me to thrive in life for the most part.
I am not entirely stable, and I never will be. I think trying to attain perfect stability with bipolar disorder is utterly unrealistic. It is all about balance and self-awareness.
Open and honest communication is so important when it comes to treatment. Also finding the right team of medical professionals that suits you is extremely important. Many doctors were very controlling and made me feel as though I was incapable of making any decisions. They were going to tell me what my mind looked like and what I was capable of doing.
I became fed up, and started walking into every office with a piece of paper with a line drawn right down the center. On one side I wrote, “The way I want to feel,” and on the other side, “The way I feel right now.” I listed out words that represented my feelings at the time. If they felt they couldn’t help me get where I wanted or thought it was unrealistic, I left. Eventually, I found the right doctor, and I am still with her today.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
HB: Things are great now. I am very blessed and excited about the future. However, that is not to say that I do not still struggle. I go through ups and downs, but I have accepted my life with bipolar disorder. My life is a rollercoaster, and I am okay with that, as long as I can decently control the speed. I manage my disorder to the best of my ability, and when challenges arise, I face them head-on.
Being that I am open about my life with bipolar disorder I face a lot of stigma, but it does not bother me as much as people may think. My mind never stops, and it can be exhausting, but bipolar is part of who I am. I know nothing different.
For those struggling to accept their diagnosis, my piece of advice is to get involved in the mental health community. You can do this by checking out your local NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) and also following the conversation on social media is extremely helpful.
I have learned to define bipolar disorder on my terms. We allow other people to dictate our lives with bipolar disorder. Accepting my diagnosis and learning to embrace my mind is the most significant thing that keeps me positive and healthy. I know I am not perfect, and I do not want to be.
DS: You’ve been active in mental health advocacy and social media. Tell us about your involvement in those activities.
HB: My career as a mental health advocate is the center of my world right now and will continue to be. I studied media communication when I went back to college in 2015 and saw where I could combine both my knowledge of media and mental health.
I published my mental health blog “Halfway2hannah” in 2016. As a millennial, I see the power of mediated platforms like social media and blogs. In the present day, I believe that social media, specifically Instagram, is the platform for mental health advocacy. I am very active on it.
I am the author of the blog, “I’m Bipolar Too” on HealthyPlace.com, and also have a YouTube channel for their website as well. I have been lucky enough to get great opportunities to do interviews, podcasts and blog posts for several different mental health websites.
I try to be as active as possible in the mental health community to spread awareness and reduce stigma. This coming year I have many different projects coming up that I am looking forward to sharing with people.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
HB: Recovery is a word that I do not use often. Personally, I do not believe in recovery from bipolar disorder. I live with bipolar, it is a part of me, and will be for the rest of my life. I blame it for my struggle, but also I credit it for my success.
Recovery alludes to the idea that at some point in my life I will be cured, and this is not going to happen. I am not the ideal mental health patient, and I am very upfront about it.
With that being said, my message to people who are struggling with their mental health or their diagnosis of a condition such as bipolar disorder is you are capable of living a fantastic life. Your emotional battles and struggle are the foundation for your strength. You have a beautiful mind, and the things that make you different are the things that make you beautiful. You are capable of success and do not let anyone tell you different. You will make mistakes; you will get low, you will get high, do not beat yourself down.
This is our life with bipolar disorder, and we are not wrong for embracing it. Learning to accept your mental health condition is the key to success. Society and people close to you will try to keep you from doing this, but do not listen to the noise that surrounds you. You have the right to love yourself and are capable of doing so.
About Hannah
I am a mental health advocate and media specialist. In 2010, at the age of 20 years old, my life changed forever when I was involuntarily placed into a mental hospital and diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. The years since then have been filled with ups and downs, learning and gaining life experience which has led me to where I am today. On my personal blog and website, I discuss mental health in a very raw and real way. Also, I feature the stories of other mental health advocates in the community. On HealthyPlace.com, I am a YouTube vlogger and the author of the blog “I’m Bipolar Too.” You can also find me on Instagram, X (formerly Twitter), and Facebook.
Thanks so much to Hannah for sharing her inspiring story of hope!
Would you like to share your story of hope? I plan to feature more personal accounts like this from time to time on my blog. If you are interested in sharing your story, please notify me via my contact page. Also, please subscribe to my blog and feel free to follow me on X (formerly Twitter), “like” my Facebook page, or connect on LinkedIn. Finally, if you enjoyed this post, please share it with a friend. Thanks!