Stories of Hope: An Interview with Dyane Harwood
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked author, mom and advocate Dyane Harwood about her mental health journey and her fascinating book. Here’s our interview:
DS: I know that your story is very unique. Tell us about how your mental health concerns first developed. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
DH: My postpartum bipolar disorder was triggered by the birth of my second child in 2007. A “perfect storm” took place in my brain that I believe was a combination of sudden sleep deprivation due to labor, powerful hormones, and a genetic predisposition for bipolar disorder. (My father had bipolar one disorder.) At first, I had postpartum hypomania but it escalated into full-blown mania over the six weeks that followed my daughter’s birth.
I displayed many of the hallmark signs of mania (pressurized speech, little need for sleep, grandiose thinking, racing thoughts, agitation, high energy level) and I knew something was very wrong with me. But I kept shoving those unnerving thoughts aside. I worried I’d be deemed an unfit mother and my children would be taken away from me.
My manic behavior and mercurial mood affected my husband Craig, who was extremely concerned and stressed out. Our baby and toddler had a distraught mother who wasn’t fully present for them, although I took care of their basic needs and I never put them in danger.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
DH: At six weeks postpartum, Craig and I agreed I was getting worse and I simply could no longer deny the gravity of my mental illness. I voluntarily admitted myself into the local hospital’s behavioral health unit where I was diagnosed with postpartum bipolar disorder.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
DH: I had treatment-resistant bipolar depression and I tried over twenty medications to no avail. I also asked for electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) when I became suicidal after my father’s death. A couple years later I had a second round of ECT after I tapered off my medication and became suicidal. I credit ECT for saving my life.
My recovery began when I finally found a great psychiatrist. I was taking lithium when I met him. Although I kept taking it because it kept the mania at bay, it didn’t help with the depression. However, when my psychiatrist added a medication called tranylcypromine that’s in the monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) class, my chronic bipolar depression lifted within a matter of days! Not everything was perfect by any means. I had fatigue as a side effect that gradually improved, but I considered the symbiotic effect of these two medications to be a miracle.
As I researched MAOIs, I found some incredibly convincing studies that demonstrated how MAOIs have been used successfully as a “last-resort” medication for treatment-resistant bipolar depression. The studies were small, but the findings indicated that when MAOIs were taken with lithium, the patients’ depression improved considerably.
MAOIs aren’t usually prescribed for several reasons. There are food and beverage restrictions. Foods high in the amino acid tyramine (such as aged cheeses and soy products) aren’t allowed because one’s blood pressure can spike dangerously. Alcohol is a restricted beverage. But these dietary restrictions have been worth it—I’m glad I can eat my beloved chocolate!
Doctors are pressured to prescribe the latest medications for bipolar disorder. MAOIs have been around for decades. Even so, I’m upset that no other psychiatrist I’ve consulted with (apart from my current physician) thought to suggest a MAOI, but that’s the past. I’m grateful I can spread the word about MAOIs and the effect tranylcypromine can have upon treatment-resistant bipolar depression when it’s taken with lithium.
DS: How are things going for you now? Are there challenges you are still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
DH: After I took the MAOI with lithium in 2013, I became stable and my life changed dramatically for the better. But my life remains very challenging. I struggle with social anxiety, general anxiety, my self-imposed pressure to be productive, and the fear of bipolar relapse.
In addition to my own concerns, I’m the mother of a tween and a teen. My husband and I have helped them with issues such as bullying, intense academic pressure, social anxiety, and friendship dilemmas. It’s very hard for me to see my girls go through painful times and to know my mental illness has affected them as well.
I’m lucky I meet regularly with my longtime counselor. She’s also a mom with a daughter who’s the same age as one of my girls. I can talk to my counselor about anything and she helps me deal with the small and large curveballs that inevitably arise.
Apart from my therapist, my husband Craig has helped me stay positive. He’s an optimist and he has a great sense of humor. We’ve been together seventeen years. I love spending time with my girls, reading, walking in nature, listening to music, and walking Lucy.
I’ve also become a vegan. I had always considered “vegan” to be an intimidating word, not to mention concept, and I never planned on doing it! I made the decision after watching a life-changing documentary called “What The Health.” It has been surprisingly easy to do, and I feel a lot better physically and mentally ever since I chose this lifestyle.
DS: You’ve been very active in blogging and writing about your experiences. Tell us about your involvement in those activities and also please tell us about your new memoir.
DH: After I broke my jaw in February, I decided to take a break from blogging. I loved blogging so much. When I had my accident, I had published almost 450 posts. Ironically, breaking my jaw served as the catalyst for my second book’s concept. I decided to focus on writing my book proposal and the book itself instead of being an active member of the blogosphere. I’m glad I can keep in touch with some of my favorite bloggers through X (formerly Twitter).
After my postpartum bipolar disorder diagnosis, I searched online for a book that addressed this mood disorder, but I couldn’t find anything. I did what is often done among authors—I wrote the type of book I had been seeking. I wanted my memoir to help other mothers as they faced this bewildering mental illness. It took me a decade to write it, secure a publisher, and go through the editing process. During those ten years, there were literally years when I didn’t write at all due to my bipolar depression. I was able to see the book through to completion thanks to the lithium/MAOI combination.
Despite being highly motivated to finish the book, there were many times I wanted to give it up due to stress and insecurity. But I felt my book had value because no one had written about the topic and my intuition told me there was a place for this book. I’m honored “Birth of a New Brain” has been endorsed by clinical psychologist Kay Redfield Jamison, author of “An Unquiet Mind,” and by four of the world’s top perinatal psychiatrists and other mental health luminaries. I’m thrilled the book has received wonderful reviews from moms who have been affected by perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, from their husbands, and from mental health professionals
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
• Be open to pursuing and receiving treatment, whether it’s with traditional professionals, alternative practitioners or both types.
• Do you have a pet you love? I know you may feel overwhelmed by simply getting out of bed to do the bare minimum (I felt that way for a long time!) but if it’s possible, I encourage you to adopt an “emotional support animal.” When my dog Lucy came into in my life, she brought so much unconditional love along with her and that puppy love seeped into my soul. She has been a huge part of my recovery in all kinds of ways. If a dog is too much responsibility, consider a cat, a guinea pig, bunny, or another small animal.
• No matter how horrible you feel, please remember your mood can get better. I couldn’t imagine my bipolar depression would lift, but it finally did go away with the help of a caring psychiatrist.
• Ask a loved one to help you find a mental health professional who will be on your side. This is a momentous task, but there’s a sea change happening in psychiatry. More compassionate, progressive doctors are choosing to become psychiatrists. If you’re unable or unwilling to see a psychiatrist, talk to a trusted physician, psychologist, therapist, or peer support specialist.
• Don’t keep your suffering to yourself. Please ask for help because you deserve to have support and effective treatment!
About Dyane
Dyane Harwood graduated with an English literature degree from the University of California at Santa Cruz. As a freelance writer, she has interviewed bestselling authors including Kay Redfield Jamison, Anthony Bourdain, and SARK. Dyane has written for numerous publications including SELF Magazine, BP/Bipolar Magazine, MOODS Magazine, and The Huffington Post. She has been a podcast guest on the Mental Health Book Club, Mom and Mind, Bipolar Style, Mental—The Podcast, The Wellness Pod, and the Dr. Denise Show. Dyane is the author of the acclaimed memoir “Birth of a New Brain – Healing from Postpartum Bipolar Disorder.” She lives in the Santa Cruz Mountains of California with her family. You can connect with Dyane via X (formerly Twitter) or her blog.
Thanks so much to Dyane for her inspiring story of hope!
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