Stories of Hope: An Interview with Mike Stroh
This is part of a series featuring individuals who share their life experiences with mental health issues. Recently, I asked mental health advocate and graduate student Mike Stroh about his mental health journey and his current advocacy activities. Here’s our interview:
DS: Tell us about when you first started becoming aware of concerns related to your mental health. How did these issues continue to affect you before you sought treatment?
MS: I think the first time I became aware that something didn’t feel right was around 12 or 13. I had a sense that my friends and classmates had something inside them that I was sure I didn’t have. I was determined to get it, but I didn’t know how to get it.
Having an older brother opened some doors that likely wouldn’t have been there and that led me to experimenting with drugs. Getting high allowed me for the first time to have a sense of control over how I felt. I could put things into my body, and I could finally be in control.
I was a chronic marijuana smoker 24/7/365 from about 13 years old until the day I stopped, one week after I turned 30. I did many other drugs and drank alcohol, but I knew marijuana was the only thing I could use non-stop without killing myself.
This behaviour affected my life in many ways. It changed my relationships with friends and family and it stunted my emotional and cognitive maturation. I never learned who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. It affected my relationships with all my girlfriends, and specifically with my fiancé who became my wife.
DS: What was the turning point that led you to decide to seek help?
MS: This is a complicated question for me to answer. From about 14 to 15 years old my conscience had been suggesting that my behaviour was really bad and that I needed to get help. I continuously stomped on that internal voice that was crying for acknowledgement.
That cry for recognition grew and grew and grew, although it wasn’t until life got serious with marriage, buying a house and the responsibilities that came along with being a husband and dare I say ‘adult,’ that I hit my bottom. I had tried desperately to stop getting high on my own, my marriage was in bad shape and for whatever reason, I just couldn’t take it anymore, and I asked for help.
DS: What has your treatment consisted of, and what have you found that has worked well for you?
MS: My treatment has consisted of a 3-week outpatient program at a local detox centre in a hospital. There was a quote written on the whiteboard in the meeting room that sticks with me to this day. “Sobriety brings all the things drugs and alcohol promised.”
From there, I attended 12-step meetings, or I should say I started working the 12 steps with a sponsor as suggested by the program. I think a few crucial things I learned through my relationship with my sponsor were how to be vulnerable, how to ask questions, how to ask for help, and how to shut my mouth and listen to what other people had to say. I had to learn that if I knew what was best for me, I would not be in the situation I was in.
Then I got myself on a waiting list for psychotherapy. In my province it is paid for by the government if you get it from a medical doctor. Then I got a psychiatrist. We discussed many problems and we agreed to start addressing ADHD (attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder), which is connected to other mental health issues I struggled with.
I take medication for my ADHD and I find it very helpful (aside from the self-stigma that I occasionally experience). I read as many books as I could get my hands on that addressed personal suffering, recovery, and moving forward in life. These were books about spirituality mental health, mindfulness, personal agency and psychology.
After a couple of years I was lucky enough to find another medical doctor who delivered mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) programs, also paid for by the government. I continue to take them once or twice a year which is a big component of my self-care.
I also got a marriage therapist, who is also a medical doctor, so it is also covered by the government, and I like to call this my superhero squad. I have other people to help me, but these are the main ones and those who I have learned from the most.
DS: How are things going for you now? What challenges are you still facing? What have you learned that has helped you stay positive and healthy?
MS: Today things are as beautiful as I could imagine. If I were to look back at the person I was 7 years ago, it would be impossible to fathom that I would be standing where I am today. I have two children and I am married to the same person. I am in my second semester of a masters program in counselling psychology, which I find is reminding me to continue to stay humble and curious about what I can learn and how to use that to help others.
The challenges I still face are mostly around diet, sleep, and anxiety. My diet isn’t terrible, but it isn’t great. I know quite well the impact of eating healthy and how that relates to many other facets of my life, particularly sleep and anxiety!
I have bad days and sometimes my symptoms get in the way of how I’d like to live my life, but for the most part those moments are few and far between. The one thing I still experience quite often is anxiety. I get caught up in thinking patterns of past and future, then the cycle of fear, guilt, shame, and panic sets in. I have many more tools today to help manage these moments, which helps a great deal.
To help stay positive, I have learned that it’s not about the problems in my life that prevent me from healing and doing the things I want to do. What matters most is what am I doing about those problems or challenges. I think because I’ve made my recovery and self-care the utmost important part of my life, I’m able to navigate the times of low mood, high anxiety, obsessive thinking, and intense emotional waves that often find expression in anger and frustration.
It’s not what happens to us, it’s what we do with those moments that matters. Over time we begin to develop a deep trust and knowing that taking care of ourselves really works. Cultivating that knowing is a crucial and sometimes painful process.
DS: You’ve been active in mental health advocacy. Tell us about your involvement in those activities.
MS: I began speaking at a high school mental health education program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto. From there I got a lot of experience as I continued to heal. I wanted to transition out of my old work, which was being a professional poker player, in which I achieved a lot of success, but it wasn’t fulfilling.
Three years ago, when my second child was born, I started a business around mental health education. Through that business, I launched an annual festival called the State Of Mind Festival as a launch pad for youth engagement and mental health system innovation. Over the first few years, we’ve spoken to over 20,000 people. I’ve been working on it full-time for the past year and I love every second of it.
My brother lives with schizophrenia and that is a huge part of my story which is another interview/topic altogether. Why I mention that is because I think families and caregivers are a missing piece of the mental health discussion. Those with strong family support have better outcomes and our family struggled through the years of trying to help him find a sense of acceptance with his situation. For those without strong support the challenges are monumental. I hope my advocacy work can help to support the many people who don’t have strong support systems.
DS: What would you like to say to encourage others who are still working on their journey of recovery?
MS: I would like to say the most important thing is to keep your frame of reference within yourself. One of the most significant challenges that most people face is comparing themselves to others. This is an impossible standard and one we have no chance of ever achieving. My sponsor always says ‘don’t compare your insides to somebody else’s outsides.’
I want to say to people who are beginning their journey or who are struggling, that acceptance of who we are in this moment, what is happening in our experience is exactly what it is supposed to be. From this place of acceptance, we can then choose the best course of action.
I hope we as a movement can bring forth the idea that recovery and well-being is the standard expectation for people with mental illness, mental health, and addiction problems. It is multi-faceted, and the only way through is to put on that tool belt and carry the responsibility that you have within yourself, the capacity you need to travel the road of recovery.
We still must work hard, and we have to ask for help, but that is the beauty, as advice strengthens us it allows us to be an example to other human beings who might need the same inspiration we once did.
About Mike
Mike Stroh is a mental health & well-being advocate, speaker, and educator. He lived with many mental health challenges before entering recovery. Drawing from unique personal and family experiences, he shares a message of courage, hope, resilience, and joy. Mike founded Starts With Me as a platform to share his message. Working with schools, community service providers, hospitals, and businesses, Starts With Me launched the ‘State Of Mind’ Festival to support gaps in education and services along with empowering families and individuals to increase their capacity for well-being. Currently, Starts With Me is partnered with local school boards to deliver mental health talks, presentations, and workshops. Mike is the parent of two young children, one of whom is now in the school system. His passion to help youth build resilience and well-being motivate his work with schools to support that development through k-12 education. Mike is currently pursuing a Master of Arts in Counselling to further his expertise. You can connect with Mike via Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, X (formerly Twitter) or LinkedIn.
Thanks so much to Mike for his inspiring story of hope!
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